British Councils train Citizens as young as 7 to snoop on neighbours

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City Councils across Britain are calling upon its citizens to become “citizen snoopers”–people who will report on loud neighbours, litterbugs, and even people who take their garbage out on the wrong day. Children as young as seven are being recruited, and so far over 9000 Britainers have signed up.

After basic training, volunteers are expected to be the ‘eyes and the ears’ of the town hall.

They are given information packs about how to collect evidence, including tips about writing down numberplates, which could later be used in criminal prosecutions.

Luton Borough Council’s Street Seen scheme encourages its 650 volunteers to report ‘environmental concerns’. It is also recruiting ‘Junior Street Champions’, aged between seven and 11.

Primary schools could also be involved within two years.

Similarly, Islington Council in north London has recruited 1,200 ‘Islington Eyes’ to report crime hotspots, fly-tipping and excess noise from DIY.

Volunteers are given a list of things to do when confronted with fly-tippers, including taking photos ‘without being seen’.

Last year the council undertook a recruitment drive for youngsters aged nine and above, called Junior Eyes.

Children are given special books to write down reports on littering or graffiti in their schools, which they then send to the council.

A spokesman for Islington town hall said: ‘It’s not possible for the council to see what’s going on in the borough at all times, so our Eyes for Islington are.

I’m not Kreskin (although I am deep and foreboding), but I can pretty much see what’s going to happen to this program: Since not everyone loves a rat like the good folks on council do, the rat-people might do alright for a spell, maybe two days. After a few days of ratting on neighbours and the fines start to pile in, people are going to start to get angry. Not as angry as the gangs in certain areas though. When the neighbourhood folk start to find out the names of the neighbourhood rats, said neighbourhood rats are going to find the boots of neighbourhood folk crashing down on their rat-like skulls.

Little Simon and all the other snoops are going to become targets of angry people with pitchforks. You see, people who put an egg carton inside a green box instead of a blue box aren’t criminals and shouldn’t be fined, but when they are fined because some little puke pervert with binoculars was spying on them, well, I’m telling you right now, even though the Brits are a mellow folkage, they are going to become unglued.

The neighbourhood snoops are a sign of things to come. Government seems intent on pitting neighbour against neighbour. This way, it takes the pressure and hatred off the government and places it on petty rivals between people that have no business hating each other. Americans take note of this–your President for life, Owebama, has already started a program that *trains* kids to become, I’m not sure what they will become, but there will be hundreds of thousands of them and they pretty much hate you and will do anything their leader tells them to do (like, arrest and detain *terrorists*).

Paranoid? Who, me? No. But it doesn’t mean I’m not stacked to the roof with weapons and ammunition, a 6 month survival kit, and a few dozen gold coins.

Contributed by Kate McMillan of